Young Ian meets two other boys who were kidnapped and finds out they’re all there for ‘the Bakra.’  Other boys were taken to meet ‘the Bakra’ and they didn't return.  Ian is brought to ‘the Bakra’s lair who turns out to be Geillis ‘Looneytune’ Duncan, now Abernathy, who bathes her yoga-toned body in blood. She feeds Ian‘Truth Serum Tea’ and he spills the beans that his Uncle Jamie has the other blue sapphire.
Jamie, Claire and their Posse arrive in Jamaica and are greeted by Kenneth McIver who works for Jared apparently as his Concierge. He invites them to the Governor’s Ball, shows them where they can stay, offers to help find Ian and sends for their luggage.  Can he get me tickets to the Red Sox season opener next Spring?  Jamie and Claire comb through the Slave Market where they discover the Governor bought slaves from the ship Ian was on and Claire accidentally buys a slave, as one does. The slave, Temeraire, says he’ll reconnoiter with the Gov’s slaves at the Ball and help find IanJamieSlave_meme
Back at Wackadoo Geillis’s home, she’s having a wee kebbie-lebbie with Margaret and Archibald because she wants the missing sapphire and she wants it now!  CrazyOne_meme
Jamie, Claire, Farsali, Yi Tien Cho and Temeraire arrive at the Governor’s Ball where they see Mr. Campbell.  Awkward convo ensues. They get in the Receiving Line to meet the Governor and J & C have such intense eye sex I inadvertently drive my car through a tunnel while eating a hotdog and then light a cigarette when I'm done.
Jamie is shocked to see the new Governor is Lord John GreyLord John is still so much in love with Jamie and Jamie is so happy to see him, I wish they could hug, or at least slap each other on the back, adjust their packages and spit. When they’re alone, Jamie immediately asks about his son Willie(Insert sound of hearts breaking) and is moved to find Willie remembers him.  The tension is verra thick as Claire watches them play a game of emotional catch up.  Jamie tells him Ian’s been kidnapped and Lord John immediately offers to help.  I love me some Lord John!Awkwardsauce_meme
Jamie notices John is wearing the sapphire Jamie gave him and Claire gives him MAJOR side-eye and John excuses himself to run from the room  see to his guests.  Wee Margaret Campbell sits outside by herself when she’s approached by Yi Tien Cho who I think I just fell in love with.  She’s a smitten kitten and he likes her too. They'd be an adorable, improbable couple and I want them to stay together.  Spinoff_meme
Oh goodie.  Time for another awkward conversation between Claire and Lord John when Geillis walks by. Claire follows her outside, Geillis quotes from ‘Casablanca’ and tells Claire she was allowed to live until her baby was born. Someone else was burned at the stake and Dougal helped her escape. Claire tells her they’re looking for Ian and Geillis says she’ll help find him.  GeillisPoem_meme
Back inside the Party From Hell, Claire brings Geillis Duncan up to see Jamie and introduces her to the Governor.  She spots the sapphire on his fancy pin and demands puir Margaret do a reading with the two sapphires in her hand as well as the Gov’s. Margaret’s reading is wackadoo and they try to decipher its meaning. WorstPartyEver_meme
Fergus alerts Jamie that Capt Leonard has arrived and they hightail it outside to their Cinderella carriage.  Temeraire tells him Ian is at Geillis's house. #LyingHo They hightail it to Geillis's lair and Temeraire asks to be let out where the escaped slaves live.  Jamie and Claire wish him luck.  Suddenly that rat bastard, Capt. Leonard arrives and arrests Jamie.  Claire gives Leonard a piece of her mind, he doesn't seem to care, he only wants to  impress his Supervisor and climb the corporate ladder so he drags Jamie away.UngratefulMofo_meme-1
Okay, everybody, I hate to mention it, but we're gonna have to be brave. Next week is the final episode of the Season. The. Final. Episode. We need to prepare ourselves.  Batten down the hatches and such.  I recommend gin, whisky, chocolate and meditation. And for the love of God, we need to recommend other shows and books to each other.  It's that serious folks! #Sob

#Outlander, Ep 312, #TheBakra in which Lord John Throws the Worst Party Ever!

38 thoughts on “#Outlander, Ep 312, #TheBakra in which Lord John Throws the Worst Party Ever!

  • Love your recaps Melissa!
    After next week I will go back to watching my DVDs of Buffy The Vampire Slayer, True Blood and Mad Men to fill in droughtlander 🙁

  • Young Ian looks like not the sharpest knife in the drawer as he wolfs down food and drink from the hand of a woman who just emerged from a blood bath. Would he not have had the slightest suspicion that his red-tinged exhibitionist hostess might have spiked her offerings…for example with poison as he’d already been told that the other boys never came back? Instead he tosses down a second cup of what turns out to be truth serum cooked up by a primitive shaman. (Is someone who looks after Geillis’ medical needs a WITCH doctor?) Claire’s not the only one inventing drugs ahead of the time she’s in now.

    Rather than horror at meeting up again with what she knows is a serial killer who offed at least 2 husbands in her presence, (one at Castle Leoch and once at Craig Na Dun in 1968), Claire is all chummy and grateful that her “friend” survived so she could thank her for “saving” her at the witch trial (though Jamie probably could have handled it alone when he was still a two-fisted sword wielder and warrior against unarmed townsmen). Then she was all scandalized that Geillis lied to her about Ian! Yeah, murderers are known for their truthfulness…With all her inherited money (Claire didn’t figure out Mr. Abernathy was likely unlucky victim #3 of the Black Widow spider?) you’d think Geillis could have afforded a better wig than the frumpy one that made her look like a toy doll at the party. Apparently same wigmaker as Jamie’s. Hey, who let Jamie out from behind bars briefly? Back he goes.

    1. I’ve always found it odd/interesting/peculiar that one of my favorite characters in the books (and now the show), Joe Abernathy, was actually holding the skull of what turned out to be a 200 year old woman with the same last name…albeit “borrowed” from her late husband. To say nothing of the fact that Claire, having been given the skull to handle, was her friend as well as her killer….Hmmm? Curioser and curioser so it gets…

  • As always, loved your recap especially all references to kebbie lebbie. I try to insert it into conversation at least once a day, often when referring to my trouble-making dog. Example: Danté slapped Barkley up side his furry head causing a wee kebbie lebbie. ?

  • How can you get it soooooo right every time? In addition to knee porn, we now have eye sex. And as for Capt. Leonard’s award…….. I’m hoping you do a final series list of all your “and the award for….. goes to” next week! Thanks again for this.

  • Goddess of The Word strikes again! Your recaps are the absolute best. Your sense is humor is perfection. This was one of the best you’ve done. When an episode is over (sob) I cannot wait to read your comments. Slainte mhath!!!!

  • I always look forward to your recaps! I may have “melissaSOBservations” along with droughtlander when this is over next week.

  • Always a treat to read your humorous takes on Outlander! Please continue.
    I recommend Spooks (MI-5 in U.S.). TOTALLY different genre but same “crazy unbelievable sh$t happens every minute but you believe it because the actors are so good!”

  • Have you watched the series “Versailles”? I could just imagine what your recaps of those episodes could be like – good material. It’s on Amazon Prime Video. It is just wrapping up the second season. You could do a lot with the Sun King, his hunky bisexual brother, all the king’s mistresses, poisonings, black masses ……. potential fun!

  • Melissa, You are simply the best. Top of your game this season. Your commentary on Claire’s slave is priceless. I will miss your observations (almost) as much as droughtlander. #missingmelissob (P.S. I love me the Poldark, too, but not in league with Jamie and Claire) #cantwaitforRollo

  • Melissa:

    Another winner! So much to love here, but your bit about the supernaturally efficient and almost ingratiatingly helpful ‘concierge’ was a hoot. Laughed out loud about the possibility of season opener tickets! I confess I was a bit suspect of the dude; thought he might be up to no good. Was glad to know I wasn’t the only one to think he was a bit over the top.

    Yes; please keep writing during the Droughtlander! I will be tuning in. In the interim I will be doing remedial MelissaObservations to catch up on what I’ve missed before recently discovering your weekly recaps. I also have all the untouched S3 podcasts, stockpiled for when I can truly savor them one at a time. It’s a long cold winter…

    Thanks for sharing your hugely entertaining posts!

      1. Note to self: Always, ALWAYS print out what you’ve written…I was 400+ pages into mine with no backup and ‘poof’…gone.

  • Just a few assorted comments. Love your recaps as I’ve said in another post. Razor-sharp wit, gal! Now that droughtlander is right around the corner, I’ll look into some of the suggestions above. Like you, I write as well, so maybe I’ll finish my second book. So sorry to read that your novel was erased from your laptop. Yikes! A writer’s nightmare. Hopefully you recall enough to start anew. About Thornbirds, I remember it well.

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