Claire and Jamie are nearing the end of their journey to Lallybroch. It’s been four years and he’s experiencing some powerful flashbacks due to PTSD. Since Jamie is now fully aware of Claire’s “Space and Time Continuum’ issue, she’s been sharing lots of intel with him about modern inventions such as airplanes and Cheese Wiz. Jamie asks for Claire’s license and registration and seems disappointed to discover she’s older than him saying ‘when I’m 40, you’ll be 245.’ What a gent!
Jamie is worried his sister may have become pregnant during the rape by Black Jack and sadly we must continue with the BJ flashbacks, and I wish we wouldn’t. They arrive in the courtyard of gorgeous Lallybroch and a little boy, who gives wee Roger Wakefield, a run for his money in the ‘Adorable Department’ is sitting outside. Claire introduces herself and we find out who the boy is.
Big Jamie, who has carried a ‘Jump To Conclusion Mat’ all the way from Leoch, decides his sister has named the wee lad ‘Jamie’ to punish him.
Jenny runs to embrace him and Jamie says he thinks she’s made a habit out of her hoorish ways and she has an instantaneous conniption fit. Poor Jamie. He keeps adding 2 + 2 and coming up with 5. Claire tries to intervene and Jenny snaps ‘shut it trollop!’ as Ian hobbles up on his wooden pirate leg in time to announce that he’s the baby daddy. (It’s a credit to the actor who plays Ian that he amputated his own leg prior to the audition in hopes of getting the part.)
Inside they’re having the world’s most awkward cocktail party and Jamie makes it worse when he asks Jenny to tell him what happened with Randall that terrible day. She says Randall took her upstairs, sniffed her head and stuck his dirty finger in her mouth. Then he pulled out ‘little Black Jack’ who seemed reluctant to join the party. ‘Little Black Jack’ is stuck in ‘Dysfunction Junction’ so BJ tries to help things along by backhanding Jenny a few times. Side note: I sure hope that’s a ‘stunt wiener’ otherwise things just got verrrry awkward. Jenny regains consciousness to find Randall is gone; she crawls to the phone and dials up Walgreen’s for a home delivery of Z-Pak and Listerine. Claire tells Jamie he should apologize but Jenny From The Broch tells her to butt out. Jenny seems to have missed 3 out of 4 weeks of Sears Charm School. There’s so much wrong with their behavior even the dogs look uncomfortable.
Jamie takes Claire to the naughty room and reads her a quick chapter out of “Moderrrn Behavior Forrr The Scottish Lairrrd’s Wifey’. Jamie tells Jenny and Ian they’re home for good because his pardon from The Duke of Sandringham should arrive any day. Jenny rolls her eyes and makes an ethnic slur about the English. Claire has had enough, excuses herself and goes up to their room to wash before dinner and lick the hemp pillowcases.
They’re in their bedroom and Jamie drags in the chest that’s arrived from Leoch and for the first time he behaves like a real-life husband with passive-aggressive sighing and complaining about how heavy it is. He shows Claire around the room and says when his dad used to be in the fields, he’d sneak back inside and look at the sword he kept under the bed along with worn copies of ‘Ye Olde TaTas’, which was a precursor to our modern Playboy magazine. He says the last time he saw his father was at Ft. William. Brian Fraser, who is a certified Grade A, Scottish hunk and gentleman, was meeting with BJR who refused to release his son. Brian kisses Jamie, tells him to pray and says he loves him and my heart breaks for what should have been if it wasn’t for the damn English. (Not you, Claire)
Black Jack tells Jamie he will let him go if he submits to some ‘back door action’ which makes me wonder if BJ violates everyone he meets or if he specializes in only raping the Fraser’s. Jamie considers letting BJ ‘invade his territory’ but decides against it because he doesn’t want to disappoint his father by giving in.
BJ flogs Jamie a second time and his father has a stroke and dies. In the middle of telling Claire the painful story of what happened that day, Jenny pounds on the door bellowing that they’re late for dinner.
At the table, they find out that tomorrow is Quarter Day when the tenants come to pay their rent. Harvest was bad, the stock market’s down and they need the dough. Claire worries it’s too public and Jamie might be betrayed. Jenny bites out that it won’t happen, their tenants are like family. #Foreshadow Quarter Day arrives and Jamie, wearing his father’s sexy leather military style coat, greets the tenants with Claire by his side. Both the grounds and the inside of Lallybroch look like a Bruegel masterpiece and I want to go to the party. One tenant can only pay half his bill and Jamie says ‘no worries’ he can ‘catch up next time’, not only that, he gives back the money he already paid. Outside, an obnoxious bully named McNabb begins slapping his son around. Claire intervenes and takes the boy inside, shows his bruised back to Jenny and sends him to the kitchen for scottish Twinkies.
That night Jamie comes stumbling to bed stinking drunk. #WhatsHappenedToJamie? He’s babbling in Gaidhlig and saying that he punched out McNabb all the while happily smacking Claire on the butt for emphasis. He instantly falls asleep and begins to snore and Claire snuggles into her hemp pillow and smiles. The next morning a very hungover Jamie finds out the mill’s not working so he shleps over to try to fix it. He takes off everything but his shirt causing mini-strokes to occur in 20% of the female and 3% of the male viewing population. The mill water looks freezing cold, not like heated, magical tv show water and I’m impressed, as it takes me 10 minutes to carefully wiggle into my warm Texas pool for my nightly swim. Jenny suddenly appears, turns Claire around and shows her that the redcoats are riding onto the property. They’re terrified, but spread their skirts out, plop down and cover Jamie’s clothes smiling at the redcoats and pretending to be happy.
Jamie dives under water as one soldier dismounts to check out the wheel. Underwater, Jamie’s able to fix it and attaches his shirt so that it floats to the top. The redcoats ride off and Jamie shoots out of the water. Jenny sees the scars on Jamie’s back is shocked and scurries away. That night after a pep talk from Ian, Claire confronts Jamie and tells him he’s behaving like an ass and trying to be someone he’s not. In the morning he meets Jenny at his father’s grave, they make up and she welcomes him home.
The next night Jamie and Claire are in their room and she tells him she finally feels like she belongs. He tells her he’s wanted her since he woke up in the middle of the road to Leoch with her shouting at him….he enjoyed riding through the countryside with her lovely, round arse between his thighs and her rock solid head thumping his chest, but he knew he loved her when she cried in his arms at Leoch. It’s not Keats, but it’s a beautiful sentiment and she says she loves him too.
The next morning she wakes up, goes downstairs for breakfast and the Scottish mafia are in the living room holding Jamie at gunpoint. I wish someone would cut these two some slack, but I’ve read the books a thousand times, so I know that’s not likely. #NotLookingForwardToTheScaryParts
What did you think of the episode? Do you agree with Black Jack’s chair that he’s a criminal and should be locked up? Would you lick the pillowcases if you were Claire? Let me know…I love hearing from you!