#Outlander Ep 409 Re-Cap, #TheBirdsAndTheBees is just about as good as it gets, but I’ve got a few ‘helpful’ suggestions too. :)

Brianna returns to her room after the best/worst night of her life.  Lizzie keeps pestering her about her whereabouts as she sees Bree is in pain and notices the blood and bruises. The next morning Roger comes by the Inn to see Brianna and #PsychoPirate is slurping down his breakfast.  He strong arms Roger into staying with the Gloriana to the port of  Philadelphia and Roger’s threatened/dragged outside to the harbor.  As he’s taken out he calls to the Inn Keeper to tell Brianna he was there.


Brianna tells Lizzie they can’t rest, they need to hop to it and find her mother.  The Innkeeper tells Bree that Roger left with the Gloriana crew.  She hurries to the harbor and discovers that ship has sailed.  Lizzie conveniently hears about Claire performing the hernia operation the night before and that Jamie Fraser is in town.


(Let me pause to thank Maril Davis for convincing the writers to stick to the written page since it was perfect and there’s no earthly good reason to re-write this scene.***) Jamie’s pissing like a racehorse in an alley when Bree meanders up behind him. (Is Sam Heughan squeezing a series of Capri Sun apple juice boxes to keep up that impressive stream?) Jamie thinks she’s coming on to him cuz let’s face it, that must happen a lot.  She tells him she’s his daughter and they embrace, both crying, each for a different reason.  He says ‘you’ve not seen your mother?  She’ll be mad with joy.’  That’s an understatement you gorgeous man!  


Claire’s coming out of a shop when she hears Jamie’s voice.  She turns and sees Brianna sitting with him.  Claire is beside herself with joy and I know the feeling because I act like a lunatic when I see my own daughter once or twice a year and as far as I know, my daughter lives in the same century as me when we’re apart.  Bree explains how she saw the news article of their death in the fire.  Ian comes up and is delighted to see a gorgeous chick with them and not as delighted to find out she’s his cousin but he quickly recovers.


While in the boat heading up river, Brianna tells her mom that Roger showed up and they were hand fasted and that they argued and he left.  Ian tells her about Stephen Bonnet and she realizes who her attacker was.  Jamie and Claire are riding behind the wagon on the last leg of the trip and they’re so happy I wish I didn’t know what I know.  They arrive home and Murtagh’s in the cabin.  Jamie introduces him to Brianna and they settle in for a happy moment of domesticity in their cabin and I gotta say I live for these sweet, hard fought for moments after the hell these fictional people have been through.


Next morning Brianna tells Claire that Frank knew she returned to Jamie as she saw the obituary and later realized what it was.  Claire can’t figure out what’s bothering Brianna.  Roger asks for his payment from #PsychoPirate in a small gem rather than cash.  #PsychoPirate obliges him.   Brianna is assimilating into life on the Ridge, helping with daily chores but still something seems off.  During target practice Brianna impresses Jamie with her Annie Oakley skilz.  They go to the whisky still and stir the brew.  Claire suggests Jamie take Bree hunting so they can get more comfortable with each other.  


Jamie and Bree head into the mountains hunting for a beehive to take back home.  He explains how to move the hive in a conversation so filled with symbolism I’m reminded how poetic Diana G’s words are and how much I love them.  Jamie does the smart thing by saying how grateful he is to Frank for loving and raising her.  Sitting against a log in the woods, they begin forming their relationship and he tells her to call him Da because ‘it’s simple’ and for some damn reason, I feel tears forming in my eyes.  Probably my allergies.  Late at night, they walk home presenting Claire with a beehive.  


Jamie can’t sleep because he’s worried about Brianna going back even though they both know she has to eventually.  Bree goes to pick herbs with Claire and finally tells her what happened with #PsychoPirate and Claire guesses that Bree is pregnant and Bree says she doesn’t know if Roger or #PsychoPirate is the father.


Roger arrives on the Ridge and I for one am happy to see him even if he’s still wearing those historically accurate yet nerdy as hell sailor pants.  Gladys Kravitz/Lizzie Weymuss sees him and tells Ian he’s the one who raped BriannaClaire finds her wedding ring in Brianna’s clothing and discovers #PsychoPirate is the rapist.  Brianna admits she hid the truth because she’s worried Jamie might get hurt going after him.   Claire tells Jamie that Brianna was raped and that she is pregnant.  Lizzie gives an excruciatingly accurate description of the evidence she’s gathered that makes her think Roger is the rapist including that she ‘smelled his seed.’  I’d like to know how in the hell she knows what sperm smells like.  Ian tells Jamie that Roger is the rapist and he beats the hell out of him, then throws his unconscious body over the back of a horse and tells Ian to get rid of him.  In the history of these books, I’ve never felt so bad for anyone as I do for Roger.  I’m hoping the series won’t have time to torture the poor fellow as much as the books.  That’s one change I’d cheer for.



*** As a self proclaimed ‘Know-It-All’ and mega Outlander fan of 20+ years, and after watching the short interview at the end of the episodes, I’d like to suggest there be a Designated Book Reader or DBR in the Writer’s Room at all times.  Those in charge of hiring should look for a hilarious, bouncy red-haired lass who’s obsessively read the books for over 20+ years.  She should have a cheery, yet sarcastic disposition and an excellent pie crust recipe that she’ll bring to work each day.  Each time a writer comes up with a perfectly adequate scene that replaces an exceptionally well-written one from the books, such as when Jamie and Brianna meet for the first time, the DBR, can jump from her chair and smack the writer with a small rubber chicken and shout ’NO! JUST NO!’ and sit back down.  I hereby submit my application.


  • Carol Logan
    Posted 0Likes

    Oh please let them hire you,rubber chicken and all.Love your recaps.xx

  • @Yr_Obt_Svt
    Posted 0Likes

    “I act like a lunatic when I see my own daughter once or twice a year and as far as I know, my daughter lives in the same century as me when we’re apart.”

    You made me laugh out loud again, lass! Well done! And I second the motion for you as DBR!

  • Doina Campean
    Posted 0Likes

    Absolutely and totally…. the chicken thingie can be bigger 🙂

  • Deb McNaughton
    Posted 0Likes

    The final meme with Roger nearly had me peeing my pants … or peeing like Jamie. I loved this episode and approved of the changes from the books. Frankly, the part in the book where Roger left Bree to hunt down gems for several makes months seemed goofy. In this rare instance, the TV version was more credible. Love your humor, Melissa. Keep it coming!

  • Penny Raile
    Posted 0Likes

    Question? Who was feeding the animals and all the other everyday chores on a farm when everyone was in Wilmington?

  • K. Hill
    Posted 0Likes

    You are hilarious. Will you be my best friend? I am not a stalker.

  • Kay Brown
    Posted 0Likes

    Maybe they will do a contest for DBR on twitter. I would vote for you. One can only hope that somewhere along the way Roger will get another pair of historically correct, but less ridiculous looking, pants. Great recap as always.

  • dot65jean
    Posted 0Likes

    Brilliant – as always!

  • Eunice Uberstine
    Posted 0Likes

    A great recap for an episode I thoroughly enjoyed!!!!

  • Pam
    Posted 0Likes

    I second the motion for less torture of poor Roger Mackenzie Wakefield. Loved your synopsis!

  • Cathie
    Posted 0Likes

    Love, love, love your humor & review! I would vote for you as DBR & a big ‘damn it doll chicken’. I also feel the same way about my daughter. She lives in the same state & time period. ??

  • Joan Tinnin
    Posted 0Likes

    Please please please be in that writer’s room. I adore your comments. Humorous and very on spot.. I forgot who wrote this episode. Duh. They/she/he needs to write all of them

    • Kristin Zhivago
      Posted 0Likes

      Looks like it was Toni Graphia and Matthew Roberts.

  • Christina Gomez
    Posted 0Likes

    Lol! I hope they hire you!

  • Kerry
    Posted 0Likes

    I cannot wait for these!! Brilliant!

  • Pamela
    Posted 0Likes

    My heart totally breaks for poor Roger! I’m sure he wishes he’d just stayed home! Ugh!

  • Jo M Carr
    Posted 0Likes

    I love reading your comments, and I’d definitely recommend you as DBR!

  • Karen Kennedy-Ray
    Posted 0Likes

    I look forward to your blog. You are so funny and I love your take on Outlander. ❤❤❤

  • Kathy
    Posted 0Likes

    Can we start a Twitter survey to get your that job? I love your recaps, and you’d def make the writers stay in their lane!

    • I’d love if we did the survey but it would probably go over like a lead balloon. Thanks for the support!!

  • K.hill
    Posted 0Likes

    No matter what I could say, it all sounds kinda creepy.

  • Merry Miller Moon
    Posted 0Likes

    Great recap as usual! But, I especially love your ‘Author’s Note’ at the end! Thank you for giving us this weekly gem!

  • Cheryl Hartley
    Posted 0Likes

    You could do stand up!

  • Joan Tinnin
    Posted 0Likes

    I read this again as I love it so much. I must insist you sit in the writer’s room. With rubber chicken. Adore your work

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