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#Outlander, Season 7, Episode 2: "The Happiest Place On Earth" or Pass The Kleenex, I Can't Stop...

Time has passed and I know this because Claire’s hair is much longer, more Carly Simon than Carrot Top.

Claire is minding her own beeswax picking herbs when she comes upon Allan Christie at Malva’s grave with a pistol by his side. Claire tries to console him and he begins to ramble on about his supremely dysfunctional family. He confesses for her entire life he molested Malva, she was pregnant with his child and he killed her due to her love and loyalty to Claire. Claire wrestles away the gun to save his life but Ian kills him with an arrow. At least somebody is thinking straight. Mrs. Bug comes upon them as they’re burying Allan in the woods. She says they must’ve had a good reason and grabs a shovel to help.

Claire delivers Brianna and Roger’s baby, Mandy, with Jamie in the room. Quelle moderne! We see Jamie and Claire spending time with their granddaughter but unfortunately Claire notices Mandy’s fingernails are blue. She has a heart condition and Claire cannot fix it. The only way Mandy will live is if they go back through the stones and find a surgeon who can correct it. (My daughter Grace was born with a heart condition which praise God and science, resolved itself in the first 6 months, so my heart absolutely broke for them.)

Brianna and Roger consider their time travel options and Roger’s a downright Debbie Downer while Brianna problem solves like a champ saying she can travel alone with Mandy. Roger snaps out of it and says they’ll go together. Claire and Jamie (who’s wearing his super sexy Ben Franklin glasses previously seen last season) are going over her surgical options but she doesn’t have the skillset for this surgery. Jamie suggests prayer.

Turns out Jemmy can hear the stones and he also says his baby sister Mandy can hear them too because ‘she said so.’ Somehow this is more sweet than creepy. The Fraser-MacKenzie Clan travel to Wilmington to locate more gems. In Wilmington, Brianna is shocked to come upon that lovely Lord John and ‘his’ extremely tall son William Ransom. Brianna is thrilled to meet her brother but it seems young Lord Ellesmere cannot wait to fight ‘the enemy’ (Yikes, I think he means me!) Jamie stops in his tracks as he sees them all across the street. I’d forgotten what a great character Lord John is and I hope someday he finally gets his own spinoff. Come on Starz, get with it!

Jamie goes to Lord John’s room to catch up. John tries to convince Jamie to fight for the Crown. Jamie says that will never happen cuz Merica. They go around in circles arguing and it makes me sad to think how war and politics separate people who usually have the same goals but different beliefs on how to get there. LJ gives Jamie the gem Jamie found years ago at Ardsmuir, he’s been carrying it around for decades as he still pines for him and who can blame him. They are both holding back tears and my heart breaks for them.

Jamie takes Brianna for a walk in the woods. They’re surrounded by fireflies and I know there must be symbolism but I was never good at that part of English class. Da and Daughter love each other so much and they must soon part forever and I wonder if the writers of these first episodes deliberately want to break our hearts. I lost my precious father two years ago, so this is especially meaningful to me. (I just realized the similarities between my dad and Jamie as he too was a redheaded farmer who rode horses, worked his entire life with his hands, and loved his family.) Back in their room, Jamie tells Claire he’s seen her in her time and I wonder if he's referring to the first episode 1,000 years ago when he saw her through the window as she combed her hair. Jamie gives Claire a small jewel so she can travel and she throws it out the window. Girl, you should hock that!

The family travels to the stone circle at Ocracoke and say their goodbyes. There is so much love and suppressed sadness and tears. Starz should just go ahead and solicit Kleenex for a sponsor and scatter boxes of them around the stones as I wonder how many gallons we all shed last night.

Claire’s voiceover tells us that life is getting back to normal on the Ridge as Lizzie and her husbands have had their baby. In general things are peaceful and they’re becoming content again. This makes me nervous cuz if we’ve learned anything from All My Children’s Erica Kane, it’s that you never make pronouncements about your happiness as that signals the doorbell to ring and someone to arrive with terrible news!

And I was right. Claire returns to their home at sunset, the lighting and sound tells us something wicked this way comes.  She enters the home to discover the coward, Wendigo Donner is there wanting to know how to get back to the future.  He and his pals have roughed up Jamie and while searching they discover a gold bar in Mrs. Bug’s knitting basket. #RutRoh Jamie and Mr. Bug have a verbal gaelic kerfuffle as Donner’s minions start tearing up the place. The idiots break the ether, light a match and kablooey, there’s goes all of Jon Gary Steele, I mean Jamie Fraser’s hard work up in flames.

Note: Holy moly this season is going faster than a Vroom! I read where someone said they’re finishing up one book so they can get to another. I dinna ken because to me all the books blend together like one long CVS receipt that goes on and on, and not separate stories. Either way, I am enjoying this emotional roller coaster and cannae wait till next week. What do you all think?

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